Holiday Homecoming: A Therapist's Guide for College Students Returning Home for the Holidays
The holiday season is a time of warmth, joy, and reunions. For college students, it's a much needed break from the stress of classes, is a time to reconnect with family and friends, and a chance to relax…and possibly not have to cook your own meals or do your own laundry. But for many, returning home can bring up a lot of different emotions. From excitement to anxiety, the homecoming experience can be challenging. As a therapist who specializes in therapy for college students, I understand the unique struggles that college students face during this time. In this guide, we'll explore the emotional rollercoaster of going home, discuss managing expectations, offer strategies for maintaining mental health, delve into reconnecting with family and home friends, and explore the dynamics of change and connection. Whether you're a college student or a parent, this therapist's guide can help make your holiday homecoming a smoother and more fulfilling experience.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Going Home
Going home for the holidays can bring about a wide range of emotions. It's a time when you'll be reuniting with loved ones, possibly after several months apart. While it's natural to feel excited, it's equally common to experience anxiety, stress, and even overwhelm. Understanding these emotions is the first step in managing them.
Excitement is a perfectly normal response to the idea of seeing family and friends again, some of whom it may have been months since you last saw. The anticipation of holiday traditions, favorite meals, and catching up with loved ones can be incredibly jouyful.
On the other hand, anxiety can commonly pop up. The pressure to have a perfect holiday, the uncertainty of what's changed since you've been away, and even the fear of facing unresolved family issues can lead to anxiety and uncertainty. And let’s be honest…College students tend to grow and change a lot while they’re away. It can be scary and nerve racking to think how - or if - those changes will be accepted when you go home.
Stress can also show up especially if you're returning to a hectic environment. Balancing family expectations, social commitments, and academic responsibilities can create a sense of overwhelm. This is where self-care and setting boundaries become crucial.
Managing Expectations
One of the primary sources of tension during the holiday homecoming is unmet expectations. College students often have expectations of what the holiday break should look like, and so do their families. When these expectations, priorities, and hopes for the break don't align, it can lead to disappointment, frustration, and often conflict.
For many college students, going home means a time to relax, recharge, and reconnect. Though college is often very fun, it is also demanding. Between classes, caring for oneself, and trying to balance fun in the mix, it can be a lot to manage. So, going home can often serve as a time to take a pause. Additionally, for many college students the first fall semester is the first time they are away from their home friends for a prolonged period of time. Breaks can serve as an important time to reconnect and catch up with old friends. When these expectations aren't met, it can lead to feelings of irritation or frustration, like their needs don’t matter.
On the flip side, parents and family members may have their own set of expectations. They might expect their college student to immediately fit back into the family routine, complete with chores, rules, and responsibilities. However, since the student most likely experienced a lot of independence at college, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things. Parents may also expect to spend a lot of quality time with their child when they come home, however, oftentimes college students want to spend time with friends or significant others who they just spent a lot of time apart from. When the student doesn't meet these expectations, it can lead to tension and arguments.
To navigate this, it's essential to set realistic expectations. This involves open communication before the holiday break, where both college students and family members express their hopes and expectations for holiday break as well as any concerns they may have. Open and honest conversations can help manage expectations and reduce the likelihood of disappointment.
Strategies for Maintaining Mental Health
Maintaining mental health during the holiday break is vital, especially given the emotional challenges that can arise. Here are some strategies to help you prioritize your well-being:
Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. This means taking time for yourself, doing activities that relax and rejuvenate you, and respecting your own boundaries. It's okay to take breaks and say 'no' when you need to. What self-care looks like varies from person to person and day to day. Some more examples include being active and moving your body, resting, journaling, and many more.
Time Management: Use your time wisely. If you have academic work to catch up on or prepare for, establish a schedule that allows you to balance both work and relaxation. The transition to being home often disrupts the structure of your schedule at school. Try to maintain a daily routine, which can help you accomplish what you want on this break - whether it is rest, reconnecting with friends, or catching up on schoolwork.
Set Boundaries: Don't be afraid to set boundaries with family and friends. Let them know when you need alone time or when you need to focus on work.
Express Yourself: If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't keep it to yourself. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or consider seeking professional help if needed.
Remember, self-care is not selfish; it's necessary for maintaining your mental health.
Reconnecting with Family
Reconnecting with family after an extended absence can be both exciting and comfortable and also challenging. Here are some strategies to improve your experience:
Open Communication: Have open and honest conversations with your family. Share your experiences and feelings from college, and ask about what's been happening at home.
Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality time with family members. Engage in activities that everyone enjoys, whether it's cooking together, playing games, or simply going for a walk.
Resolve Conflicts: If there are unresolved issues within the family, consider addressing them in a calm and respectful manner. Seeking resolution can lead to a more holiday break that is helpful for all.
Manage Transitions: Going from the independent college life to a more structured family environment can be challenging. Be patient with yourself as you navigate these transitions.
Navigating Change and Connection
Returning home for the holidays often involves managing change and connection, after creating a new norm of distance and independence. Here are some tips for handling these dynamics:
Accept Change: Both you and your family have likely changed since the last time you were together. Embrace these changes and recognize that personal growth is a positive thing.
Stay Connected: While at home, make an effort to stay connected with friends from college and maintain those relationships. This can provide a support system during the holiday break.
Share Your College Life: Share your college experiences with your family. Let them in on your journey, from the challenges to the accomplishments. This can help bridge the gap and foster understanding.
Embrace Family Traditions: Participate in family traditions and rituals. These shared activities can help create a sense of unity and nostalgia.
Seeking Professional Help
If you find that the emotional challenges of returning home for the holidays are overwhelming and affecting your mental health, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapy for college students and relationship therapy can provide support and coping strategies tailored to your specific situation. College students go through unique challenged and deserve therapy that is tailored to them. Relationship therapy can be helpful in navigating the changes in how you interact with your family as you grow into yourself and the person you want to be. There is no shame in reaching out for help when needed, and doing so can make a significant difference in your overall well-being.
Conclusion
Returning home for the holidays as a college student can be a transformative experience. It's a time to reconnect with loved ones, create new memories, and reflect on personal growth. But it can also be emotionally challenging. Managing expectations, maintaining mental health, reconnecting with family, and navigating change and connection are all essential aspects of a successful holiday homecoming.
Remember, it's okay to experience a wide range of emotions during this time. Open communication, self-care, and seeking professional help when needed are key strategies for making the holiday season as positive and meaningful as possible. And remember, if you need help along the way, you can always reach out for a free phone consultation.
