Mental Wellness Mastery: Lea Trageser On Everyday Life Hacks For Optimal Mental Wellness

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be interviewed by Eden Gold at Authority Magazine. In this interview, we discussed all things people pleasing. The original interview can be found here.

In our modern, fast-paced society, mental wellness is a crucial aspect of leading a fulfilling life. However, for many people, achieving and maintaining good mental health can be a challenging task, with obstacles such as stress, anxiety, depression, and more. That’s why it’s essential to have practical and accessible strategies for mental wellness that can help build resilience, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lea Trageser, LMFT.

Lea is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in New York, where she is the founder and therapist at Helix Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC. Lea works with individuals and couples who are looking to improve relationships in their lives by processing past traumas. She empowers her clients to become more secure in their relationship with themselves, in order to foster relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling with their loved ones.

Lea Trageser, LMFT discusses five everyday “life hack” for optimal mental wellness.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about Mental Wellness Life Hacks, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I grew up in the suburbs of New York City, where I am the middle of five children. I describe the home I grew up in as “beautiful chaos,” because with five kids running around there was never a dull moment. Throughout my life, I have consistently found myself in the role of supporter, confidant, and the person who people leaned on during tough times. It was during college that I realized that this role that came seemingly innately to me, could be my career. During college this realization was reinforced through classes I took and clubs I became involved in. After graduating from Virginia Tech, I pursued a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with a concentration in Sex Therapy at Jefferson University in Philadelphia. Though the way I support people looks vastly different as a therapist than it did with friends and family throughout my life, the sacredness of the role and experience is something that I cherish and honor.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

The most interesting part of my story so far has been the decision to open my private practice. Though it was always a goal of mine, it was a ten year goal. However, after about three years of working in the nonprofit work, earning my Marriage and Family Therapy License, and feeling ready for a shift in my job, I started to reflect on this goal. I realized that ten years was an arbitrary amount of time, and should this be something that I want, I can work towards it and achieve it. With the support of my friends, family, and colleagues, I launched my private practice and went fulltime in it not even a year later. Though it was scary, I am so proud of that choice. In that process I learned that courage is doing something even though you’re scared, the importance of leaning on my support system, and to always bet on myself.

You are a successful individual. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Three traits that I think were instrumental in my success, specifically in launching my own business, are dedication, resourcefulness, and bravery. Dedication has served me well on this journey because opening a business is hard work, honestly even harder than I would have thought. From learning new skills like bookkeeping, to building my website, it has taken a tremendous amount of dedication in order to persevere. I am incredibly proud of that. Next, being resourceful and leaning on my support system has been a huge part of my success. When I learn a new skill, I think over my connections and who may be able to help. I am incredibly grateful for friends and family who have supported me along the way. And I am grateful to myself that I was vulnerable and asked for help. Lastly, success has required an incredible amount of bravery. Leaving the security of a full time job with a salary and benefits in order to pursue my own private practice was the scariest decision I have made. Despite this fear, I knew I wanted to make the jump, so I did. Bravery isn’t the lack of fear, it is doing it regardless.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview about mental wellness mastery. What is one often-overlooked daily habit that can significantly improve one’s mental wellness?

When I begin working with clients for therapy, there are pillars of mental wellness that I assess. Without these pillars, there isn’t much of a foundation to build other work upon. If I had to narrow it down to one primary focus, I would emphasize the importance of sleep. Without sleep, stress tends to increase, your level of tolerance decreases, and everything becomes more difficult to manage. A good night rest truly does set you up for success. Some tips to improve sleep are to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, limit screen time before bed, and my favorite tip is to read fiction before falling asleep. It is a practice and takes time to make these shifts, but if you stay committed, there will be benefits.

How do you recommend individuals recalibrate their mental wellness after experiencing a significant setback or failure?

Grant yourself compassion and grace. Shifting your perspective on progress from linear to the shape of a spiral, can help illustrate that perceived setbacks or pauses are just a part of the process. Remember, though you may find yourself in a similar position as you were previously, as with a spiral, there is still upward growth. All of the tools, tips, and approaches you have learned along the way don’t disappear. You get to take them with you to approach this similar situation, or slipup, in a new way.

In your experience, what is a common misconception about mental health that hinders people from seeking help or improving their wellness?

The most common misconception about mental health that I see is that being mentally well means always being happy. This can create an impossible goal, which is overwhelming, and ultimately freezes any progress whatsoever. It is important to remember that being mentally well means experiencing all emotions, the pleasant and unpleasant, in a balanced way that doesn’t overwhelm or overtake you. The goal isn’t to be happy. The goal is to approach familiar problems in a new way that is meaningful and fulfilling for you.

Can you share a transformative moment or client story that highlights the power of a specific mental wellness strategy?

For several of my clients, boundaries are at the center of our work and when boundaries are implemented and upheld, it fosters mental wellness because inner peace is protected. I have a really silly metaphor that seemingly sticks for my clients and I want to share it with you… Let’s say I have a neighbor who walks their dog and each time they go for a walk the dog goes to the bathroom on my lawn. I can go to the neighbor and set an interpersonal boundary and request that they clean up after their dog. However, at the end of the day, my neighbor has free will and will do what they are going to do. Cue the intrapersonal boundary: I now get to choose, do I want to say something again? Do I want to clean up the mess myself? Or do I want to focus on mowing my lawn and planting my flowers? Though silly, this metaphor helps outline choice and creates opportunities for empowerment and reflecting on interpersonal and intrapersonal boundaries. I hope it is helpful for you.

Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Everyday Life Hacks For Optimal Mental Wellness?”

1 . Move your body — Moving your body each day is a pillar for mental wellness. The movement can be anything. From dance, to yoga, to running, or stretching. Tune into your body, what it is wanting and needing and find a form of movement to honor that. This is a double win because the practice of tuning in grows awareness and the mind body connection, while movement helps us become unstuck.

2 . Get outside — Whether it be for a long hike, a picnic, or just walking outside to your mailbox, creating time each day to get outside is a mental wellness hack. Literally going outside creates space to zoom out and metaphorically step outside of yourself. Reconnecting to nature can be an incredibly grounding experience.

3 . Improve your sleep — Sleep is another pillar of mental wellness. Finding strategies that work for you to help improve your sleep, will make you feel more capable in other areas of your life. If you have trouble falling asleep because your mind races, try counting backwards from 300 by 3’s. Another tool is to read fiction before bed, as this stimulates a similar part of the brain as dreaming as well as serves as a distraction from your anxieties and worries. Lastly, creating a bedtime routine that signals to your brain and body that it is time to rest, can help set your sleep up for success.

4 . Practice compassion — Whether it be compassion for others or towards yourself, compassion is a mindset shift and lens that fosters mental wellness. Negative self-talk, shame, and criticism only breed more negativity and halts opportunities for change. Afterall, shame isn’t a great motivator. Instead, softness, understanding, curiosity, and compassion allow space for exploration, reflection, and growth. When you notice criticism stepping in, ask yourself questions instead. Curiosity breed compassion, which leads to opportunities for change.

5 . Be consistent — As with any tool, these “hacks” only will work if you are consistent with them. However, I want you to approach consistency differently. Consistency doesn’t mean doing it everyday or even striving for a certain amount of days or hours per week. Consistency is picking it back up no matter how long it has been. Remember these hacks and other tools you find helpful, and tune into yourself so you can know when they’d be helpful. And if days, weeks, or even months go by and you haven’t been implementing them. That’s okay, pick them back up. By seeing rest and downtime as part of the process it allows for more space to reenter when you are able and wanting, which only propels you farther.

What role does technology play in mental wellness today, and how can individuals leverage it positively without exacerbating mental health issues?

Technology is a conundrum because it brings unprecedented access to information, tools, and destigmatizing content that can be incredibly helpful for mental health! Without technology, I wouldn’t be participating in this interview and the reader wouldn’t have access to read it. However, as with everything, limits are important. Setting boundaries for how much, when, and what content you will assume, helps limit content in a way so it can be fulfilling for you. Check in with how you are feeling before, during, and after scrolling social media. Growing this awareness can help inform boundaries that would support you, so that you can engage intentionally in a fulfilling way, rather than mindlessly doom scrolling.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

The movement I’d want to start is not a revolutionary one, however, I think it’d have a huge impact on the majority of the world. All I’d want to do is spread curiosity. Curiosity is a skill I strive to teach my clients and practice in my personal life. Learning to ask questions rather than assuming or judging, creates space for compassion and increased understanding. It is helpful for individuals during self reflection and hugely impactful on relationships. Perhaps we can start it here, together. I want to challenge you to start incorporating curiosity into your life. When you feel called to assume why your partner didn’t take out the garbage yet again, curiously ask them. When you notice yourself feeling an unpleasant emotion, don’t judge yourself, be curious about it.

How can our readers further follow you online?

I hope readers choose to follow along! More information about me, my practice, as well as my blog can be found at HelixMFT.com. This is also where NY residents can schedule a free phone consultation if they are interested in working together. I am on Instagram and Facebook @helixmft, and on LinkedIn as Helix Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Thank you for the opportunity to participate in another interview! I love bringing information to readers and hope they find it helpful.