Women in Wellness: Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be interviewed by Wanda Malhotra at Authority Magazine. In this interview, we discussed all things people pleasing. The original interview can be found here.

Today, more than ever, wellness is at the forefront of societal discussions. From mental health to physical well-being, women are making significant strides in bringing about change, introducing innovative solutions, and setting new standards. Despite facing unique challenges, they break barriers, inspire communities, and are reshaping the very definition of health and wellness. In this series called women in wellness we are talking to women doctors, nurses, nutritionists, therapists, fitness trainers, researchers, health experts, coaches, and other wellness professionals to share their stories and insights. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lea Trageser, LMFT.

Lea is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in New York, where she is the founder and therapist at Helix Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC. Lea works with individuals and couples who are looking to improve relationships in their lives by processing past traumas. She empowers her clients to become more secure in their relationship with themselves, in order to foster relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling with their loved ones.

Lea Trageser, LMFT, discussed 5 lifestyle tweaks she recommends to support people on their journey to improved wellbeing.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

I grew up in the suburbs of New York City, where I am the middle of five children. I describe the home I grew up in as “beautiful chaos,” because with five kids running around there was never a dull moment. In childhood I enjoyed playing soccer, creating art, and exploring the woods in my neighborhood with my childhood friends. After High School, I attended Virginia Tech, where I got a Bachelor of Science in Human Development with minors in Spanish and Women and Gender Studies. Fun fact: four of my five siblings attended Virginia Tech — Go Hokies! Then, I went on to get my Masters of Marriage and Family Therapy with a concentration in sex therapy from Jefferson University in Philadelphia.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

One of the most impactful stories since I started my career was when I transitioned from working in the nonprofit sector to starting my own private practice. I had always known that private practice was my ultimate goal, however, I considered it to be a ten year goal. In 2021, after working at a nonprofit for a few years and the culmination of several different factors, I started to wonder about my next steps and began to reflect on this goal. I realized that this ten year timeline that I set for myself was arbitrary and if I wanted to make it happen earlier it would be possible. From growing my practice while still working at the nonprofit, to ultimately taking the leap and going full time as self employed, I learned so much. One of the most important lessons I learned was something that my cousin had said to me. She said, “When thinking about next steps, consider your ultimate goal. Does the choice you are considering get you closer to it? Or does it take you in a different direction?” This was advice that I really relied on in order to push my ten year goal to an “I can do it now” goal even though it was incredibly scary. This ended up being my second lesson, that just because something is scary it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it. I often remind my clients that growth happens in discomfort (but not unsafety), so this was a reminder that pushed me to make the jump despite my fear. Lastly, a takeaway from this experience was to believe in and bet on myself.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

When reflecting on beginning my career as a therapist, and even back to graduate school, I honestly find it difficult to identify a mistake I made…but perhaps not for the reasons you may assume. In fact, I made plenty of mistakes or errors. I am sure if I went back with the first clients I worked with, I would approach the cases differently. However, I don’t categorize these experiences as mistakes because they were part of the process of becoming the therapist I am today. Through meeting with supervisors for support and guidance, writing papers on case studies, and consulting with colleagues, I have learned so much. So, I think the lesson I have learned and even applied to this question is that mistakes are okay and they are human. They are a part of the learning and growing process. Embrace mistakes with grace and curiosity in order to continue growing on your journey.

Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

I believe that having an impact on the world begins with having an impact on individuals. When a person reflects and grows, they then take that change into their world. As they relate to friends and family in new ways, they innately have an impact on those people. We are all interconnected, so the work and changes that we implore in our lives, ultimately does have a bigger impact in the world. Through therapy, I create a safe and non-judgemental space to explore past unhelpful dynamics and roles, in order to intentionally foster fulfilling relationships in the present and future.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.

1 . Honoring where you are — When thinking about the lifestyle that you want to live, it is common to create grand goals and visions. However, often these don’t take into account where you actually are and don’t identify resources and support to get you where you want to be. So, it is important when setting sustainable goals, to consider where you are and what the achievable next steps are. This helps prevent you from feeling overwhelmed and giving up and creates lasting change towards better wellbeing.

2 . Compassionate consistency — Oftentimes when it comes to wellbeing, people can fall into all or nothing thinking. For example, if you want to start running more, and have run everyday for the past 5 days and don’t run today, often people won’t run tomorrow either because they fall into a “What’s the point?” mentality. The definition of consistency that I ascribe to is picking it back up no matter how long it has been. This helps combat all or nothing thinking, and creates compassion, which only helps propel and sustain progress and wellbeing..

3 . Centering yourself — In order to improve your wellbeing, it is imperative that you start centering yourself in your decision making. After all, how can you improve your wellbeing if you aren’t considering yourself? I often tell clients that in order to manage everything that is “on your plate” you have to keep yourself on your plate as well. By centering yourself and honoring your wants, needs, and feelings, you can start taking care of yourself, and improve your overall wellbeing.

4 . Moving your body in a way that feels good for you — Movement of any kind has shown to have a significant impact on mental health and wellbeing. Approach movement from a place of self love or acceptance and find a form of movement that is both accessible and enjoyable for you. Whether it be Zumba, yoga, or running ultra marathons, whatever it is, find it. Having this pillar for your physical and mental health will help improve your overall wellbeing. Bonus: Be sure to approach movement with the lens of tips #1 and #2 in order to help sustain it!

5 . Reframe boundaries as ways to protect your peace — Often, in my work with clients boundaries are a theme that can be difficult to implement. They fear being perceived as selfish or starting conflict. However, a shift that has been helpful in creating space for boundaries is that boundaries protect your peace. Identify when it is you feel at peace and also when you don’t. What limits and boundaries do you need in order to keep that peace sacred and protected? Through this process you create a roadmap for safe and meaningful connection,as well as identifying limits for people or things that disrupt the peace. It’s a double win for your wellbeing!

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

The movement I’d want to start is not a revolutionary one, however, I think it’d have a huge impact on the majority of the world. All I’d want to do is spread curiosity. Curiosity is a skill I strive to teach my clients and practice in my personal life. Learning to ask questions rather than assuming or judging, creates space for compassion and increased understanding. It is helpful for individuals during self reflection and hugely impactful on relationships. Perhaps we can start it here, together. I want to challenge you to start incorporating curiosity into your life. When you feel called to assume why your partner didn’t take out the garbage yet again, curiously ask them. When you notice yourself feeling an unpleasant emotion, don’t judge yourself, be curious about it.

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

It’s hard work, but it’s doable work.

Identify supports and lean on them.

Failure is only failure if you stop, otherwise it is just feedback.

There will be ebbs and flows and it will be okay.

Believe in yourself.

Looking back these different words and sentiments would have calmed so many fears both before starting and while launching. I learned them through the process, but had I known them at the start I may have had a cushion within that fear. I hope some are helpful for you.

Sustainability, veganism, mental health, and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

I think the four of those topics are highly interconnected, however, as a therapist I think mental health is the one that is dearest to me. It is my greatest honor to be the person who my clients come to when they need support. I often work with people who haven’t experienced much emotional safety in their lives, and to give them that space is so incredibly sacred.

What is the best way for our readers to further follow your work online?

I hope readers choose to follow along! More information about me, my practice, as well as my blog can be found at HelixMFT.com. This is also where NY residents can schedule a free phone consultation if they are interested in working together. I am on Instagram and Facebook @helixmft, and on LinkedIn as Helix Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC.

Thank you for these fantastic insights! We wish you continued success and good health.